A Good Reminder

It is strange how randomly I will think about the tenants of the Latter Day Saint Faith. The aptly named, Articles of Faith, are beautiful in their simplicity (not in music) and complete in their scope. The other day my sister and I happened to be talking about the 11th Article in relation to allowing all people the privilege to worship in the way they deem appropriate and how light and truth is still light and truth no matter what denomination claims your devotion.

Two times this week, thanks to certain events brought about by a very sweet and very 3 year old boy, I have contemplated the implications of the 2nd Article of Faith. For refreshing or enlightening purposes it states:

We believe that men will be punished for their own sins and not for Adam's transgression.

Now, there are many points to this tenant that one could contemplate, but my focus has been on punishment for our own sins. Wait. . .this isn't going to be an entry bursting with confessional angst, just a realization that came from the transgressions of an innocent boy.

Today's run in with the law, aka me, came just as we were about to leave for Sea World. We had already enjoyed a library story time and a fun lunch together, but I had spent Talia's nap time going over the unintentional faux paint job that comes with Texas textured walls. I offered to read to the kids while I painted, but they said that they would rather work on a project for Grandpa and Grandma who would be visiting soon. I asked them what the project was and they responded, "Playing". Fair enough. I listened half heartedly for signs of possible fighting, but never heard anything more then the normal tiffs.

When I heard Talia stirring, I told the kids to get ready for Sea World. I praised them up and down for keeping busying so I could paint. We were lotioned and ready to leave when I found the carnage. Sitting in the middle of the tv room was what once looked like a laptop. What was left was the carcass and dismembered keys from the keyboard. Every single letter, number, function key, you name it, were sprawled around the floor.

Although I questioned for motives, there was none to be had. Tiago simply found it pleasurable to rip off every last key and even a few of the strange green dots below the keys that give the keys there bounce backness. I could see the reason, but I couldn't just let it go. So, because of his transgression, Sea World was canceled. Mia, Talia, and I held subject to the punishment of this action. Fair? No. Necessary? Yes.

Consequences and punishments, I am learning, are often equally if not more damaging to the enforcer. I felt like a fair consequence for destroying the laptop was a chore for each key. Steep, I know. I just want him to remember that we should always treat other people's property with respect. The arrangement is as follows:
Tiago is not allowed toys or play time until the keys are paid back. He will have to do the chores and when he needs a break, he can relax on his bed. He has already done 3 loads of laundry, emptied and reloaded the dishwasher, swept the floor, and set the table for dinner.

Each time he complains, I remind him of the reason he is doing it. I want him to realize that since he can't pay to replace the item, he will have to earn it back through chores. Then the epiphany strikes.

The web of transgression is as intricate as everything else is on earth. His agency along with all others is not Free Agency in relation to consequences and effects, but free for all to have and operate at whim. Unfortunately/fortunately, that agency has far reaching effects. In the end, this whole key business probably links back to my attention or lack there of that I am giving him. All the "fun" I plan is usually partially attended by my attention and participation.

May be, just may be, I will become the example I expect my kids to be. Until then, I am grateful for forgiveness and love and my sweet children who expose my rats in my cellar quite effectively.

"[When we begin to try to be like Christ] We begin to notice, besides our particular sinful acts, our sinfulness; begin to be alarmed not only about what we do, but about what we are. This may sound rather difficult, so I will try to make it clear from my own case. When I come to my evening prayers and try to reckon up the sins of the day, nine times out of ten the most obvious one is some sin against charity; I have sulked or snapped or sneered or snubbed or stormed. And the excuse that immediately springs to my mind is that the provocation was so sudden and unexpected; I was caught off my guard, I had not time to collect myself. Now that may be an extenuating circumstance as regards those particular acts: they would obviously be worse if they had been deliberate and premeditated. On the other hand, surely what a man does when he is taken off his guard is the best evidence for what sort of a man he is? Surely what pops out before the man has time to put on a disguise is the truth?
If there are rats in a cellar you are most likely to see them if you go in very suddenly. But the suddenness does not create the rats: it only prevents them from hiding. In the same way the suddenness of the provocation does not make me an ill-tempered man; it only shows me what an ill-tempered man I am. The rats are always there in the cellar, but if you go in shouting and noisily they will have taken cover before you switch on the light.
Apparently the rats of resentment and vindictiveness are always there in the cellar of my soul. Now that cellar is out of reach of my conscious will. I can to some extent control my acts: I have not direct control over my temperament. And if (as I said before) what we are matters even more than what we do--if, indeed, what we do matters chiefly as evidence of what we are--then it follows that the change which I most need to undergo is a change that my own direct, voluntary efforts cannot bring about.
And this applies to my good actions too. How many of them were done for the right motive? How many for fear of public opinion, or a desire to show off? How many from a sort of obstinacy or sense of superiority which, in different circumstances, might equally have led to some very bad act?
But I cannot, by direct moral effort, give myself new motives. After the first few steps in the Christian life we realise that everything which really needs to be done in our souls can be done only by God."

-CS LEWIS MERE CHRISTIANITY