STORY (warning may be long and full of too much information)
It all start with a normal pregnancy nighttime trip to the restroom at 2:30 am. When I laid back in bed, I began to feel a little uncomfortable. I stayed up to keep track of the time and length of the contractions. To keep me occupied, I checked up on some blogs that I haven't read in awhile. . .TRANSLATION a few days (Great Lamaze technique if the blogs are interesting enough which they all were). I also looked up definitions of active labor so as not to be caught by surprise when it was "go time". You see I was only dilated to may be a 2 earlier that day and didn't want to go to the hospital on a dry run. By 3 am, the consistent 5 minute contractions were becoming a little too much and so I hopped into the shower. I didn't want to be stinky at the hospital. The warm water brought little comfort and yet I still didn't know if I should wake up Fernando. Fernando, the comatose sleeper, suddenly opened the bathroom door. I guess my labor breathing was a lot louder then I realized! Unable to carry on a complete conversation, I told Fernando we needed to go.
Luckily, our neighbors offered to watch the kids "no matter if it is 3 in the morning" which turned out to be very prophetic on her count. I tried to wait in the car while Fernando set things up with her sleeping arrangements and what to do with the kids. The waiting in the car alternated from me putting my seatbelt on, using my telepathic skills to get Fernando to hurry, and jumping out of the car to pace up and down our street during each contraction. Fernando was finally ready to go and was insistent that he not practice his OB skills on me in our car. This feeling inspired race car driving and a police shadow that pulled us over not long after getting on the freeway. Fernando pulled over since the police officer refused to parallel drive with us. The police man sauntered slowly up to the car with Fernando yelling out the window "My wife is in labor. We have to still get to National Naval Medical Center." (A good 15 minutes away) He didn't seem to buy the story until he leaned into the car and got a good look at me. To be honest, I have no clue what I looked like, but I would image a fire breathing dragon caricature would be a good likening. The cop told us to slow down, but Fernando knew better. After an eternity of endless freeway, the hospital was in view. Parking in the VIP roundabout, I shot out of the car and past the 5 security officers. Again my physical appearance prevented much questioning. Nearly jogging to the elevator, I focused all my energy on finding someone to give me the epidural. The first thing that came out of my mouth was "I need an epidural. Could someone please get me an epidural." These words fell on what seemed to be deaf ears. The nurses kept interrupting with "Ok, honey, how far along are you. How long have you been having contractions." This interaction was comical to surely everyone except me who was about to karate chop down the doors to admit myself. Finally Fernando was able to kick things into gear with such pertinent facts as "this is baby number 3 and she was due almost a week ago".
Magically all sorts of doors were opened and numerous people in colorful scrubs were rushing around to prepare the delivery room. I was pacing the room trying to distract myself. I looked at the time-3:25 am. Seeing as how this story is taking longer to tell then the actual event and the scene that followed would be too graphic to retell, I will cut to the chase. A cliff note version includes indecent exposure, a sweet but far too mellow anesthesiologist trying to give me a spinal block, too many people telling me how to breath in through my nose and out my mouth, an oxygen mask, two pushes and out comes a distressed baby girl at 3:54 am.
I was surprised to be so relax after all that insanity. Looking back, it might of have been due to the fact that I lost a significant amount of blood after delivery which caused a new fury in my hospital room. I am just grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who listened to the literal cries of a frantic pregnant woman in the car just moments before.
