Irony, Sweet Irony

Rachelle has been asking me to write a blog for some time now. Well today is the day I give it a go. Now, remember, this is Fernando, so don't expect the intelligent prose and witty humor that grace Rachelle's posts...



Let me give you Background information lest you think me an absent minded fool. On days that I finish early at work I try to use the extra time to enjoy a little stint of exercise, jogging, swimming and the like. Today was such a day and I decided to go swimming. On other days I have lugged a duffel bag containing my swim shorts, goggles, etc. as I jog the 3/4 mile to the pool, which, as you can imagine, makes for an interesting time as I try to keep it from jostling about. Today I had the brilliant idea of leaving it in the car and only lugging along my trunks along with a few essential items. Unlucky for me, the car keys did not make my list of essential items. I came back to find both spare keys to the car, my only house key, my cell phone and my wallet locked in the back seat. No problem, I thought. I'll just call someone to bust the lock.

Well, after waiting an hour and a half by my car on a beautiful San Antonio day, I walked back into the hospital to call "Pop-a-lock" to see what the hold up was. Let me detail the conversation, it tells the story nicely:

Me- I was wondering when you were going to come by and unlock my car?

Heidi- Let me see if our technician has passed by.... It says that he passed by but no one was by the car. It will be a $10 dollar extra charge to send him back.

Me- I'm sorry but that's not true. I have been standing by my car for the last hour and a half and no one has come by.

Heidi- Well he has written that no one was at the car, so it will be an extra $10 to send him back out. (total of $45 now)

Me- Well he didn't pass by my car. No, I will not pay the extra $10 dollars because I was by the car the whole time. Not only that, but you will deduct $10 dollars from the total for the inconvenience you've caused by making me wait outside for an hour and a half.

Heidi- Let me talk to my manager to see if we can wave the fee....(click) (dial tone)




So I call back.




Me- I just called about getting a technician to come unlock my car. I first called an hour and a half ago.

Kathryn- Oh, okay. Let me see if the've passed by yet... It looks like he passed by and nobody was by the car. It will be a $10 fee to send him out again.

Me- That is not true. I have been standing by my car for the last hour and a half and nobody has passed by. I will not pay the fee and I want a $10 reduction in the total price for making me wait so long.

Kathryn- (mumbling) I just talked to my manager and we will not waive the fee. If you want him to come back out it will an extra $10.

Me- Let me talk to your manager, please.

Kathryn- Okay, just one second...(click) (dial tone)




So I call back once again.




Me- Can I please talk to your manager. I have been waiting for an hour and a half in the sun for a technician and been hung up on twice.

Kelly- Okay...(click)

Manager- Hello, this is Regina. How may I help you?

Me- Hi, I have been waiting by my car for the last hour and a half for a technician and no one has shown up. I've called back and been told twice that he passed by and no one was at the car and both times been hung up on. That's not true because I've been standing out there since I first called you.

Regina- Well, it looks like he couldn't find the car and so it will be an extra $10 to send him back.

Me- I will not pay an extra $10 dollars and you will reduce the final cost because you've made me wait so long and hung up on me twice.

Regina- Well, your first call shouldn't have even been accepted because you didn't leave a call back number.

Me- Please explain how I can leave a call back number when my cell phone is locked in the car with my keys?

Regina- We will not send back another technician unless you pay (click)




I had enough. I began scheming on how I could pick the lock myself. I rummaged through the surgeons locker room and left someone's poor unsuspecting uniform without it's wire hanger as I headed back out the door. Luckily, cooler heads prevailed and I thought to call USAA, our car insurance company, for some "roadside" assistance. After taking my information, the rep had me hold on the line while she contacted someone to open the car.

After a long pause the voice on the other side of the line said:

Okay.... Pop-a-lock of San Antonio will be there in 35min.



Half an hour later a "technician" was shoving an air bladder along with a thin bow looking contraption with pink thread tied around a black rubber band in between my doors. After several failed attempts, he proceeded to jam a spackling spatula along with a wooden wedge in the interface between the window and the door, followed by some long, thick, strangely twisted wires. 15 min later he succeeded with a long malleable wire by tapping the electronic unlocking switch, ironically enough, while I was saluting the flag as the National Anthem played.

So, 4 hours after first placing the call, there I was, with keys in my hand, and not a penny poorer.