Bully Alert Aisle 16!

Our homeschooling experience has been a mixed bag. Overall I am loving it and have learned and grown a lot myself. The other day, we completed a section of her technology class that looked at the reality of bullying in some of its online forms. Having been a human development major, I knew a lot about the newer ideas of emotional bullying that is often far more damaging than even being physically bullied (especially since a black eye is far easier to explain the hurt than a dirty look or lack of communication).

After we finished the lessons for the day, I promised the kids a trip to the number one children's museum in america (at least so says the ads about it). We all needed tennis shoes to participate in the athletic area of the museum. So, off to target we went to find cheap tennis shoes. Just in luck, we found some $12 wonders that fit the bill and the kids earned themselves the free cookie at the bakery for making the shoe experience not a headache. The two youngest (that walk) were reliving the exciting new exercise we learned about in PE with their own rendition of ladders. Their unique twist was adding a squeal and using my moving stroller and the dairy case as the borders of the ladders.

Their first leg almost knocked over an elderly gentleman who happened to walk by at the wrong time. He was on his phone and seemed more focused on his grocery task and phone conversation to pay the kids much attention. Unfortunately, the older woman in the yogurt section wasn't so focused and glared at my children. My first instinct was to scold the children and apologize until I remembered the words I told my kids just a few minutes before in the Bully lesson. I told them in essence that allowing a bully to treat you poorly without pointing out their rudeness isn't being kind to you or the bully. You should always stand up for yourself. Now, I don't think I need to stand up for my kids' screaming or playground behavior in a grocery store, but I don't think it is appropriate to use your adult stature to intimidate 3 and 5 year olds.

From another, more bold, part of myself, asked "Are you bothered with my kids?" To be fair, her look was in between bothered and enamored/nostalgic. No verbal reply was made, but the eye roll and the cold shoulder was a point well made. Again, I asked, "Are my kids bothering you?" This got me a fire breathing glare and finally "This isn't a playground lady". I responded in a cool and collected way, "I never said it was." She then stated "Well, I did!" I finally add, "I wished you could have told me that you were bothered so I could have apologized to you. That's all." She ended the conversation. I walked off with a feeling of satisfaction for some strange reason, but then, in the privacy of an empty aisle, quickly reminded the kids that playgrounds and grocery stores are two different places and we need to act certain ways in each place.

Then, from out of nowhere, the first elderly man approached me. He adamantly apologize "on behalf of all elderly people" that "we aren't all like that" and that "she gives elderly people a bad name." He tried to convince me that "something obviously went wrong with her in her life" and that my kids "didn't need to be apologized for." I explained that I felt bad that my kids bothered her and that even if she didn't handle herself well, doesn't mean that I am any less responsible to be polite. I just want to have my kids see that standing up and being polite can coexist.