Ripple Effect and the Explusion of the Greatest "Show" on Earth

Fernando is currently living a vampire lifestyle. (That was to appease all those Twilight fans, go Team Tovar or is that supposed to be team edward???) He leaves for work around 5:30 pm and returns a bit disoriented at 8 am the next morning. After sleeping for as many hours possible, he gets ready for work/plays with the kids/shoves food in his face at around 4:30 pm to start it all over again. This started the day after Christmas.

This past Saturday, I had promised myself to take the kids to the Holiday Lights on the River Walk if they would take a nap. This promise had been made before, but broken on account a various external forces seeking to thwart obedient childrens' dreams. Against my deepest desires to send the kids to bed early, we went at 7 pm (very late for us) to the River. It was a blast. I came prepared with jackets, gloves, hats, and a baby backpack. With temperatures in the upper 60's though, I was carrying Talia and all the excess winter items. A couple hours later, we headed home for our beds. I had remembered to grab the Red Box movie we needed to return and kept contemplating picking up a new one for me to watch solo on this fine Saturday night.

AND SO THE RIPPLE BEGINS. . .
As usual, I felt a specific prompting to act in a certain manner. And like usual, I stack up all my reasons why I don't want to follow that prompting and try to make a valid case. Stupid, I know.

Problem #1: RedBox movies are $1 for one night. I knew I wouldn't return it on Monday so is the movie good enough to pay $2 for it?
MY PATHETIC RATIONALIZATION: Well, if I were to rent it from a movie store, it would totally cost more then $2 and way to go on committing to not returning it on Sunday.

Problem #2: I am already tired and it's almost 9 pm. Call it a night so you can be a happy, helping mommy for whatever the night or tomorrow brings.
MY PATHETIC RATIONALIZATION: There are a lot of clothes that need to be folded. I am sure that will take the duration of the movie to finish. Then the house will be cleaner for Sunday.

Problem #3: I am not going to take the time to download the filter for the movie, do I really want all that excess junk ie swearing or sexual content flowing into my house and head? Why don't you spend that time studying the scriptures? MY PATHETIC RATIONALIZATION: I am sure it won't be that bad. Besides I deserve a little adult down time.

Sorry prompting. . .I am just too convincing.

So I get the movie and hurry the kids home to bed. I shove the mounds of clothes into the TV room and prepare myself for the ABBA inspired musical phenom of Mama Mia. Fernando has warned me over and over and over again to keep my video critiques to myself because I am so critical and demeaning. Just ask the last innocent bystander to was forced to listen to me rip apart their family's favorite movie (that is topped by the Saving Private Ryan incident which will be remembered post post). SO lets just focus on problem #2.

May be there are many out there who can multitask with the TV on. This has never been me. It really doesn't matter the quality of programing, I will zone in instantaneously. By 2 am, the laundry was still unfinished and I was watching some Hallmark Channel Christmas Made for TV movie about Santa Claus and his need to get married to save Christmas, but the girl is an unbeliever who has a kid and obviously a poor relationship history blah blah blah. And when that was on commercial, I would flip to a movie about a coming of age love story between a 10 year old boy and an 11 year old girl who met in karate class. (this show actually had some funny elements that reminded me of my eccentric self back in the junior high days.)

Buzzing from lack of sleep, I summoned all my reason to turn off the TV and head for bead. Just then, Talia woke up hungry and sick. I fed her and soothed her the best one can with the fuzziness of late night activity and put her to bed. Then Tiago needed water and a potty break. I fell asleep around 4 and was up again to make breakfast at 6. This would have been punishment enough, but there was more.

Due to my groggy state of being, I was slow to react when it was important and overly jumpy when we could have not been. Bad combo for little kids. I barely made it on time to church in a ridiculously frumpy dress and shrug, greasy ponytail and funky clipping of the grown out bangs, a heinous lack of make up, and the familiar BO smell from one who took a rushed shower. I picked a side bench near the front.

I brought bribes for good behavior during the passing of the sacrament and that was about it. Because of my rush, I left the overly loaded church fun bag at home. I won't bore you with the minute by minute play, but instead give you the fast forward version.

Kids munching on very crumbly and noisy granola bars, Talia screaming, standing in back to listen, leave on Talia's account, go back in, wrestle with Tiago for Talia's car seat, try several ways to make fire shoot from my eyes to show Tiago visually I mean business (no luck), a sweet mother of 3 who just had extensive knee surgery and a car accident struggle up to my bench and offer assistance (clue one that you are causing a pretty big scene), leave again. . .more screaming, more bribes, more talking about good church behavior, more BO. Strangers asking to help (clue two you look like a show) SO ENDS SACRAMENT MEETING.

I talked, practiced, convince Tiago that nursery was good and only for one more week. Then asked Mia to sit with him so I could play the piano for the next two hours as my calling requires. Mia refuses to sit with him, Tiago refused to sit with class, Talia screaming, me running back and forth murmuring ridiculous angry comments under my breath, being asked repeatedly by several other church members if everything was ok, leader gets a replacement and I try to leave.

Tiago at this point starts screaming about how much he wants to go to nursery, Talia still screaming for her bed, Mia won't get up from the middle of the bench and I tried to focus on vanishing.

The whole way home I talked about my disappointments and how they could have been better when I realized something.

My ripple I started just complicated a normal event. I could have been well rested and therefore ready for church with such helpful ammunition as coloring supplies and interesting books for sacrament meeting. I could have sat in the back so as only to have the dividing wall notice my up and down and up and down and in and out and in and out scene. I could have asked for a piano sub so I could sit with Tiago and help him feel safe in church. I could have accepted the countless offers to help with Talia and there by free myself in order to help my kids. BUT I didn't and I am to blame.