Just because

On Tuesday, a week before Christmas, the weather just happened to be completely beautiful and it seemed like a perfect time to head to the zoo and to a rare, but free trip to the Witte Museum's Tree House on Tuesday evenings and then to see the Luminous Lights at the University of the Incarnate Word. Fernando had been coming home after the kids were in bed, so I had high hopes of easy entertainment and an early bed time due to exhaustion and then some down time for me. One problem: Mia's school was going to end in an hour and a half. Not long enough for us to go without her, but too long to wait. So I made the executive decision to pick her up early. I had imagined in my head that she would leap for joy to get a surprise outing with us since she always talks about how much she misses when she is at school. no leaping, in fact, more like angry vibes were coming behind her curiosity. I kept reassuring her how much fun this adventure would be and how much she would enjoy the "beach" at the zoo. Unfortunately, no beach due to routine maintenance. (gosh, pick a day that isn't gorgeous to fix the water front play area). Good thing the goats were still rearing for a good time although it didn't save me from plenty of griping. As seen in her Dr Jekyll/Mr Hyde face going on with the drums.
(We even had music class outside at the zoo. I know, I'm awesome and justified for making my Kindergartner skip school.) Serves me right. I shouldn't be pulling her out just because it is good weather. Heck it's San Antonio. Good weather in the winter is a fact not a phenomenon.

Even with all the bitter feelings, she did have fun and we (Tiago especially) loved a weekday non-holiday outing with her again.

(Best friends. Mia helping Tiago enjoy the beauty of falling leaves)









(See, it was educational. When will Mia get the chance again to touch a South American Armadillo?)


Mia trying first hand to see which type of pulley system works the best at the Witte. Again, look at the learning.


PS The Lights were a bit on the lack luster side of things. It gave me a whole new appreciation for the light the LDS church puts up at Temple Square and at the DC visitor center.

I want to ride my bicycle

The bike presents have been worth every craiglisted penny. It is so fun to watch the kids ride their bikes around. Fernando is far more patient then I am when it comes to learning. I catch myself near barking orders on how one should or should not ride their bike. Luckily, I am better then myself sometimes and can just enjoy the feeling of being a kid again. Enjoying the simple pleasures in life (it's hard not to when you jump onto your kid's bike and try to pedal around in a circle). The weather has been perfect, except when San Antonio thinks that it should have normal winter weather and drop into the 40's.

When pedaling gets too tough, we head to the park for more fun.

Christmas Leftovers

My mother has many talents. One of them is the verbatim resuscitation of several Dr Seuss books. I often remember her starting the Grinch Who Stole Christmas and waiting for her "gnarled Grinchy frown" and "fingers nervously drumming". Her intonations and facial expressions made the book (and waiting in the car for my dad to get some things for "Santa's Sleigh" from yet another store) much better. Sometimes, even when it wasn't Christmas, she would burst into Seuss stories.

Christmas leftovers are plentiful and usually have more umph. Here's to the leftover memories we had, including the shoes that became two sizes too small (for those not as familiar with the story, that was one of the possible causes of the Grinch's grumpiness). At least one foot survived. San Antonio sun is a killer on plastic and these poor little Crocs can testify.

Santa ("He's real you know" so says Mia) and reindeer and the True meaning of Christmas fight for the kid's attention during the holidays. Daily we had new reenactments. They were more interesting this year since Mia's school lessons focused on Holiday traditions around the world. She would often draw pictures of various Christmas holiday fun like wooden shoes placed out in Holland for Sinterklaas. I wish I had a picture for all the various hats she made to represent those various countries' celebrations. Alas, we just have her with her Reindeer Relay hat on.

We even got to spread reindeer feed on our grass. The feed was a special mixture made of oatmeal and red sparkles. (I was witness to this process when I helped out in Mia's class for their Christmas party).
Here is Santa Tiago pulling his Christmas loaded basket via a bungee cord on his car sleigh. Mia the reindeer is helping from the back. Talia is an unwilling participant.
That is much like her unwilling participation in the manger Mia made from two Costco boxes

or as our live Baby in our family play. (it needs a little work and sorry for my solo. The kids practiced, but didn't really join in which is too bad for all of you)


We had the babe in playdough form as well as on a Catholic candle. STORY:
Fernando wanted to surprise me with a candle lit Christmas Eve dinner. I suggested that the kids go with him. When they came home with this candle I had to hear the story. Turns out that after Fernando found his ideal choice, the kids spotted the shrine selection at the store. Fernando did his best to redirect their attention to other candles, but was thwarted by clever and persuasive arguments. Fernando pointed out that said candle was for a religion different then ours, but the kids reminded him that they believe in Jesus just like we do. Then he tried to point out the beautiful other options, but was reminded that this should be a Christmas candle. When all else failed, the kids suggested that it be put to a vote. Tiago dropped his selected candle with Christ pictured with thorns on his head to get the two to one vote needed for the said candle.
I hope that it isn't offensive to any Catholics that we bought this candle. Fernando felt like he had no other choice.

Cookie making is a must for the holidays.
Besides making cookies at home with Fernando and I, the kids got in on the action at the Bass Pro Shop before getting their picture taken with Santa. Genius of this store. Everyday they had a Santa, but the pictures were free and they gave you a coupon for a free kids meal. Then each weekend they had some free activity such as decorating cookies for the kids to do.


Mia also got to write a note to Santa which included the following: a cat, a real ginger(bread man), a dog, a lion, a star, a bell. Although the items weren't all exactly as she would have wanted like the animals being real, Mia did get all those items for Christmas one way or another.


Talia testing out the various water craft for sale to keep busy during the decorating time.

Attempt at a family photo.

How many times have you seen the ad for a car as a Christmas present? Well, I got a shiny car for Christmas!

It wasn't new. It was actually my Civic, but I got to wash it since the weather was so dang nice. That's right, part of my Christmas Eve activities was hand washing the car with the kids.

I loved every minute and almost gave Fernando the same gift, but dinner was calling.

Christmas Eve we opened up some new pj's

in hopes to preventing other previously placed presents to be opened.

Christmas presents came from all sorts of people. Grandparents, parents, siblings, friends and even Mia's school teacher Ms. Cortez (all good things get attributed to her whether or not she was even a part of it).

In any case, these leftovers will be remembered fondly and retold as all good Christmas memories do.

Ripple Effect and the Explusion of the Greatest "Show" on Earth

Fernando is currently living a vampire lifestyle. (That was to appease all those Twilight fans, go Team Tovar or is that supposed to be team edward???) He leaves for work around 5:30 pm and returns a bit disoriented at 8 am the next morning. After sleeping for as many hours possible, he gets ready for work/plays with the kids/shoves food in his face at around 4:30 pm to start it all over again. This started the day after Christmas.

This past Saturday, I had promised myself to take the kids to the Holiday Lights on the River Walk if they would take a nap. This promise had been made before, but broken on account a various external forces seeking to thwart obedient childrens' dreams. Against my deepest desires to send the kids to bed early, we went at 7 pm (very late for us) to the River. It was a blast. I came prepared with jackets, gloves, hats, and a baby backpack. With temperatures in the upper 60's though, I was carrying Talia and all the excess winter items. A couple hours later, we headed home for our beds. I had remembered to grab the Red Box movie we needed to return and kept contemplating picking up a new one for me to watch solo on this fine Saturday night.

AND SO THE RIPPLE BEGINS. . .
As usual, I felt a specific prompting to act in a certain manner. And like usual, I stack up all my reasons why I don't want to follow that prompting and try to make a valid case. Stupid, I know.

Problem #1: RedBox movies are $1 for one night. I knew I wouldn't return it on Monday so is the movie good enough to pay $2 for it?
MY PATHETIC RATIONALIZATION: Well, if I were to rent it from a movie store, it would totally cost more then $2 and way to go on committing to not returning it on Sunday.

Problem #2: I am already tired and it's almost 9 pm. Call it a night so you can be a happy, helping mommy for whatever the night or tomorrow brings.
MY PATHETIC RATIONALIZATION: There are a lot of clothes that need to be folded. I am sure that will take the duration of the movie to finish. Then the house will be cleaner for Sunday.

Problem #3: I am not going to take the time to download the filter for the movie, do I really want all that excess junk ie swearing or sexual content flowing into my house and head? Why don't you spend that time studying the scriptures? MY PATHETIC RATIONALIZATION: I am sure it won't be that bad. Besides I deserve a little adult down time.

Sorry prompting. . .I am just too convincing.

So I get the movie and hurry the kids home to bed. I shove the mounds of clothes into the TV room and prepare myself for the ABBA inspired musical phenom of Mama Mia. Fernando has warned me over and over and over again to keep my video critiques to myself because I am so critical and demeaning. Just ask the last innocent bystander to was forced to listen to me rip apart their family's favorite movie (that is topped by the Saving Private Ryan incident which will be remembered post post). SO lets just focus on problem #2.

May be there are many out there who can multitask with the TV on. This has never been me. It really doesn't matter the quality of programing, I will zone in instantaneously. By 2 am, the laundry was still unfinished and I was watching some Hallmark Channel Christmas Made for TV movie about Santa Claus and his need to get married to save Christmas, but the girl is an unbeliever who has a kid and obviously a poor relationship history blah blah blah. And when that was on commercial, I would flip to a movie about a coming of age love story between a 10 year old boy and an 11 year old girl who met in karate class. (this show actually had some funny elements that reminded me of my eccentric self back in the junior high days.)

Buzzing from lack of sleep, I summoned all my reason to turn off the TV and head for bead. Just then, Talia woke up hungry and sick. I fed her and soothed her the best one can with the fuzziness of late night activity and put her to bed. Then Tiago needed water and a potty break. I fell asleep around 4 and was up again to make breakfast at 6. This would have been punishment enough, but there was more.

Due to my groggy state of being, I was slow to react when it was important and overly jumpy when we could have not been. Bad combo for little kids. I barely made it on time to church in a ridiculously frumpy dress and shrug, greasy ponytail and funky clipping of the grown out bangs, a heinous lack of make up, and the familiar BO smell from one who took a rushed shower. I picked a side bench near the front.

I brought bribes for good behavior during the passing of the sacrament and that was about it. Because of my rush, I left the overly loaded church fun bag at home. I won't bore you with the minute by minute play, but instead give you the fast forward version.

Kids munching on very crumbly and noisy granola bars, Talia screaming, standing in back to listen, leave on Talia's account, go back in, wrestle with Tiago for Talia's car seat, try several ways to make fire shoot from my eyes to show Tiago visually I mean business (no luck), a sweet mother of 3 who just had extensive knee surgery and a car accident struggle up to my bench and offer assistance (clue one that you are causing a pretty big scene), leave again. . .more screaming, more bribes, more talking about good church behavior, more BO. Strangers asking to help (clue two you look like a show) SO ENDS SACRAMENT MEETING.

I talked, practiced, convince Tiago that nursery was good and only for one more week. Then asked Mia to sit with him so I could play the piano for the next two hours as my calling requires. Mia refuses to sit with him, Tiago refused to sit with class, Talia screaming, me running back and forth murmuring ridiculous angry comments under my breath, being asked repeatedly by several other church members if everything was ok, leader gets a replacement and I try to leave.

Tiago at this point starts screaming about how much he wants to go to nursery, Talia still screaming for her bed, Mia won't get up from the middle of the bench and I tried to focus on vanishing.

The whole way home I talked about my disappointments and how they could have been better when I realized something.

My ripple I started just complicated a normal event. I could have been well rested and therefore ready for church with such helpful ammunition as coloring supplies and interesting books for sacrament meeting. I could have sat in the back so as only to have the dividing wall notice my up and down and up and down and in and out and in and out scene. I could have asked for a piano sub so I could sit with Tiago and help him feel safe in church. I could have accepted the countless offers to help with Talia and there by free myself in order to help my kids. BUT I didn't and I am to blame.

Christmas Card Expanded Edition

Merry Christmas Friends and Family. We hope that the season has been at least as eventful as ours has been. Time has flown by this year, but as the saying goes "time flies when your having fun." If you have a little time for some fun, enjoy our year in review. If time is of the essence, you can skip to the highlighted links to our previous applicable posts or jump down to the little video clip to enjoy.

Captain Doctor Fernando Ramiro Tovar:


He has accomplished a lot this year. Most notably was his successful completion of medical school which brought us to Texas (an accomplishment in itself with two cars to drive and only two drivers). Once in Texas, he in processed whilst convincing me to buy our home. In typical Fernando fashion, he hit the ground running and hasn't stopped since. Though confidence has never been an issue with him, he has increased in his capacity to help make life for hospitalized people all the better. He even attempted an operation on Tiago. With all his first year general surgery intern free time, he serves his family and church. Fantastic example of fortitude and strength of character.

President Faust said it well in a conference address Oct 02:
At times all of us are called upon to stretch ourselves and do more than we think we can. I’m reminded of President Theodore Roosevelt’s quip, “I am only an average man but, by George, I work harder at it than the average man.” We develop our talents first by thinking we can. We are all familiar with the parable of the talents. The Master gave one five talents, another two, and another one, “every man according to his several ability. …

“Then he that had received the five talents went and traded with the same, and made them other five talents.

“And likewise he that had received two, he also gained other two.

“But he that had received one went and digged in the earth, and hid his lord’s money.”

After a long time the Master asked for an accounting. The one who had received five talents reported that he had gained an additional five talents and received the commendation, “Thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things.” He that received two talents gained two other talents and also received the promise of a greater dominion. . . .The Lord entrusts all of His servants, including every priesthood holder, with spiritual talents. The Lord, who endows us with these talents, tells us: “I believe you can. I believe you can.” While we are not all equal in experience, aptitude, and strength, we have different opportunities to employ these spiritual gifts, and we will all be accountable for the use of the gifts and opportunities given to us.

Mother of 3 amazing children who attempts greatness at homemaking and makes dang good pumpkin cheesecake muffins Rachelle:

By the world's standards, Fernando's title sounds more impressive, but it isn't about comparison (or the fact the the muffins are from a really good recipe). I have tried to think about accomplishments I have done that don't include my family members and their accomplishments and came up with nothing. That isn't to say I haven't been doing a lot, but that I am in mom mode which has a wonder all its own. Since you can read the other family members snippets, I will just say I did single handedly move us into our house (quite literal at times since I had to nurse Talia while commanding the movers), and taken to my new home base of San Antonio. I also revamped my hair do (it is in desperate need of an redo), and have been busting a groove at the gym in my new favorite, Zoomba. Sunday's I often make it through sacrament meeting successfully and single when Fernando's on call and spend the next two hours playing the piano in primary. I am ever striving to become the person this world needs me to be and often reflect on Elder Holland's April 07 conference address:

"So, brothers and sisters, in this long eternal quest to be more like our Savior, may we try to be “perfect” men and women in at least this one way now—by offending not in word, or more positively put, by speaking with a new tongue, the tongue of angels. Our words, like our deeds, should be filled with faith and hope and charity, the three great Christian imperatives so desperately needed in the world today. With such words, spoken under the influence of the Spirit, tears can be dried, hearts can be healed, lives can be elevated, hope can return, confidence can prevail. I pray that my words, even on this challenging subject, will be encouraging to you, not discouraging, that you can hear in my voice that I love you, because I do. More importantly, please know that your Father in Heaven loves you and so does His Only Begotten Son. When They speak to you—and They will—it will not be in the wind, nor in the earthquake, nor in the fire, but it will be with a voice still and small, a voice tender and kind. It will be with the tongue of angels. May we all rejoice in the thought that when we say edifying, encouraging things unto the least of these, our brethren and sisters and little ones, we say it unto God."

Imaginative problem solving artist,playwright/producer Mia


I don't say often enough how amazed I am at this girl. She is captivating. She has dealt with some major life changes and did if with style. Most of our family fun times are a direct result of some good idea she has had. Recently, a new tradition was created because Mia wanted to share her new knowledge about the First Thanksgiving with everyone. End product, a fantastic play.

Man Child who's connected to his softer side Tiago:

Tiago continues to be all man. Whether he is flying about like a jet or pushing some toy vehicle, he has energy that is non-stop. He misses his best friend Mia while she's at school, but at least he still has is Talia to kiss.

No failure to thrive, inquisitive sweet Talia

Beginning at birth, Talia has shown her ability to do more than survive. Lucky for her since she is surrounded by adoring and mauling fans (Mia and Tiago aren't the only culprits). Her calm demeanor is interrupted by bursts of enthusiasm for food, everyday objects such as pens or paper, and when she's been ignored for too long. The no teeth thing doesn't stop her from wanted to try everything on our plates. We love her in our family.



CHRISTMAS VIDEO FUN:

Waking Ned Devine

Ok, this post isn't a tribute to that movie, but just to the good idea that came from random blog hopping the other night. To share how removed I was from the people I happened to blog into: my sister's friend's brother's-in-law "Angel Baby" friend's links. Angel Babies are children who passed away at birth or very young. My sister brought up the site while I was talking to her the other day and for some reason I visited their site and other similar families who have suffered such an intense loss. I don't know what propelled me to keep reading more since it just made me cry harder. Fernando was at the hospital and called me. This broke the cycle long enough for me to think. Then, like it was choreographed, my sleeping Tiago feel out of his bed. The fall woke him enough to let out a little whimper, but then he fell back to sleep. After all that I just read, I starred at my precious children. All asleep, peacefully breathing life in and out. I turned to check on Talia and a wave of gratitude fell over me. This feeling intensified as her little hand met mine. She knows that my arms are to pick her up and tries in her wordless ways to show me how much she wants to be held. Usually, I would let her fall back to sleep and be about my internet fixation, but not now. I held her and soaked in her soft, sweet smell and thought about how blessed I am to have her. I looked back at Mia and Tiago and remembered all my dumb mom moments. I thought of how many times I could have become one of those families with an "Angel Baby" because of my over confidence or lack of judgment. I thought of all the negative things I have done or said to those sweet kids and yet they keep loving me. I thought of all the sadness and hate and anger wasted for no good reason. Then I thought why wait. Why wait until it is too late to let people know how happy you are to have them in your life? Why wait until it is too late to treat people better?
I realize, of course, the truth found in Alma 34:34 "Ye cannot say, when ye are brought to that awful crisis, that I will repent, that I will return to my God. Nay, ye cannot say this; for that same spirit which doth possess your bodies at the time that ye go out of this life, that same spirit will have power to possess your body in that eternal world." In other words, the same spirit of peace or anger or whatever that I have been growing and cultivating for years can't change over night, but it can change and today is the day. (Comic Relief: Mia once astutely noted after I vocally proclaimed my desires to change and be a better mom that "You always say that mommy, but you don't do it.)
With that all said, I just wanted to make an incomplete, but heart felt appreciation to the wonderful family I have. We'll start with Fernando's side just because said so.
(And because I don't do a very good job letting them know how much I love and care for them. We totally have very different love languages)

PAPA JUAN
This picture speaks volumes. His smile is contagious and his smile lines prove how often he is spreading the love. His strength comes from years of unknown trials and trust in the Lord. He sacrifices much and works hard to give his children the best. He seems to know how to do everything and even if he doesn't, he is willing to try. I know that I drive him crazy at times, but he looks past my follies to find common ground. Thank you for being who you are and loving us.


MAMA CLARA

Behind this charming smile lies a faith and courage that is beyond motivating. She is always working whether it be embroidering a beautiful dress or cooking or teaching, she is always striving to improve herself and those around her. Fernando often talks about life changing conversations he had with her. Most recently he spoke of how much his confidence and self esteem came from how she thought about him and treated him. If you know Fernando, you know that means a whole lot. Thank you for all your considerate thoughts, prayers, and calls. Thanks for being an excellent example of thoughtfulness and tenacity.

AUNT TIRSA

Have you ever read the story "The Giving Tree" by Shel Silverstein? Well, Tirsa is the tree. She generously gives of her time, talents, and money (lots of it) to anyone and everyone. She works behind the scenes trying to make everything run smoothly. She remembers important, sentimental details about people's lives and will often get some memento to match.


AUNT SULAY

This picture doesn't really capture her personality. She has an infectious laugh and smile (must run in the family). Her kind and gentle heart often sacrifices much to help those around her. She is the champion of underdogs (and might I add that something smells like updog in here). I had the lucky privilege of being at BYU with her and although I had actually been there for longer, Sulay knew everyone on campus. We could walk only a few steps before she would be smiling, conversing, concerning about someone we crossed paths with.

UNCLE DANIEL
Genius is an understatement, but so is Daniel. He never tries to be the center of attention, but will often pull people aside to talk to them. I have had many a conversations with him which he probably doesn't remember, but they were meaningful to me. I still remember when I first met him. He looked totally different, but still a cutie. He interrogated me the whole 2 plus hour drive home from the airport when I went to Fernando's farewell. My favorite part was when he asked me if I was going to marry his brother. Then he started saying my first name with his last name. "Rachelle Tovar, that doesn't sound really good. Neither does Daniel, but it's a lot better then Rachelle Tovar." Hopefully, he has changed his mind.

CROMAR FAMILY (my side, I'll keep it too the point as I have known them obviously longer then my in laws)

GRANDPA CROMAR

My dad has a veracious appetite for knowledge. The amount of information that he consumes is mind boggling as too is how he assimilates information for interesting conversations. He is tenderhearted and always looking for that perfect something. I still remember spending hours at the florist looking for the best flowers to wear on mother's day. He always bought us these delicate orchids even when we were in primary. I can only imagine him in the store shopping for my kids. He often will call to share his meaningful moments. Thank you for your trust and love.



GRANDMA CROMAR

My mother's strength and love have carried me through many a hard times. She will listen to understand my problems and then offer wisdom from the true source of all love and insight. She'll often quote scriptures and spiritual moments that pertain to the given situation and help shift my focus to one more positive and productive. She has sacrificed much of her time and energy. I still remember finding her curled up in a blanket waiting for us to return home. Thanks for your patience and love.

MY SIBLINGS AND THEIR FAMILIES
AUNT ANGELA AND UNCLE JOSH AND COUSIN LIAM (and bean 2)

So fun family to be around and yet we aren't often together. Josh and Angela are both very kind and generous. Angela is a woman that thinks all things are possible and listening to her, you believe that they are. She often will start up conversations with random strangers in hopes to make them feel better and that includes several homeless people. Josh has this fantastic laugh, which I want to call giggle but that is way too girly for him. And although one shouldn't be judged on their appearance, Josh has some sharp clothes and ties to knock your socks off. Thanks for loving my sister so much and being such a great dad to my little nephew and peanut.

UNCLE CHRIS, AUNT EMILY, ETHAN, AND BABY GIRL TO BE

Also fun family that lives way too far from me. Aside from the fabulous, but free hair hook up, Emily is fantastic at helping organize and structure even the most tangled situation. I must confess I have a love hate relationship with playing games with them. They try to dumb things down for me, but alas, they are just gamers who own things I have never even seen on Target's shelves. It's hard not to think about them this season, since they are more than fans of Christmas. Thanks for sharing you whit and cleverness with us (an hopefully a book. . .hint hint). Chris is the creative genius who can pull off such fantastic things like being the "Soul Train". Thanks for loving my sister so much and being such a great dad to my little nephew and soon to be neice.

UNCLE KEVIN AND AUNT LAUREN

This picture screams who they are. I am sure one day they will save the world and find world peace and discover the cure for the common cold among other things. They've perfected the art of showing interest in people. Their conversations are engaging and often make the speaker feel so intelligent. Kevin makes me laugh so hard, I often can't finish sentences (or prayers on some occasions.) Again, I wish we lived closer so we could bash around outdoors together. Thanks for being our babysitters at the most awkward and inconvenient times.

UNCLE LANCE AND AUNT AMY AND TEXAS


I am glad that I had this picture of them. Then you could all think that they aren't as good looking as they are. I often try to convince Amy that warm Texas is the place to be, but what can one do about this housing market. I love how dedicated and diligent they are. Both work full time and go to school. They often sacrifice much to meet their goals. Thanks for being a great example and move to TEXAS. You know you want to.

The Funny Side of Organics

I don't even like Star Wars (I know. . .how un-American). This spoof on Star Wars has to be the funniest one I have ever seen.