Mom humor

A friend sent this to me today and I had a good laugh. I say it is up there with mom jeans.

How About A Little Honesty?

Internet shopping is so convenient. Who really wants to shove their kids in the car to shop for x amount of hours. The downside comes with shipping charges. Most stores have some pretty great policies like buy a certain amount of product and the shipping is free.

Fernando has bought several things via the internet. (I bet you thought this was going to be an awkward husband bashing post, but it's not.) We have even sold several things ourselves via the internet. It is like garage selling minus the hours waiting out in the heat of the sun.

Just the other day, Fernando got this "fantastic" idea to buy the kids toys just because. I think he still has a vivid sorrow locked away from childhood when his dad wouldn't buy him a G.I. Joe. Anyway, Mia wanted a lion and Tiago wanted a plane. Unfortunately, Fernando is a perfectionist when it comes to buying items and the stores didn't have what he felt was quality aircraft toys. Well, Fernando did find a few Star Wars vehicles. But, even with motion and cool sound effects provided by Fernando, Tiago wasn't interested.

Fernando fell back on his reliable, gas saving shopping source: the Internet. Finding planes of quality was simple and time saving. The site offered bulk shipping rates on multiple items. The quoted price was $7.10. Great! Transaction completed and wait for delivery.

Somehow the price of shipping jumped from $7.10 to $13+. When questioned, the seller states via email:

" You must not be familiar with the continuous increases in postal rates, or the transition to zoning costs similar to UPS. A couple years ago 7.10 may have covered the shipping but now the rates are very different. A package under 2 pounds going from the east to west coast costs over 10.00 for shipping. I assure you, I'm not overcharging for shipping. The shipping rates just went up again on january 18th in case you weren't aware. The last increase before that was last May, the one before that was the previous may, the one before that was a couple years earlier. They are increasing the postage costs at an increasing rate. There's nothing I can do about that, I wish I could."

Ok, is it just me or is the seller a bit bugged that I questioned his shipping increase. After Fernando heard an earful from me (I know, shocking. Like I would ever rattle on about one specific thing such as this mile long blog affectionately called a milog by Fernando.) What's embarrassing about his "hey you dumb girl" email was that he didn't take into account that may be he isn't the only human who mails packages or that USPS has ways to calculate shipping online or that shipping an item from Florida to Texas is not exactly what one might refer to as east to west coast shipping.

Too bad Mr Seller. I appreciate your fake apology, but that doesn't stop me from rubbing in the lameness of your email. So here is my emailed reply to him:

"I apologize for offending you. It seems by your response that you felt my question was unfair. I ship items quite frequently all over the US and was more then surprised by your price quote. I took the liberty of looking up a generic possible shipping scenario of someone shipping a 2 lb package from FL to TX. The USPS site allows you to calculate your shipping. I picked Tallahassee just for good measure, but the TX zip code is ours. As you can see here (click on the word here and it will take you to the page)

Now, I am sure that there was just a misunderstanding on postage rates or you may not be aware of the various options. We will be willing to pay the originally stated $7.10 for the shipping or we would like to receive a refund. The $7.10 will pay for priority shipping of a 2 lb package from FL to TX. As you said in your email below, it is actually under 2 lbs, you will have more then enough money to buy shipping supplies as well. Please let us know what we can expect."


I should have told him my expectations from a business: How about a little honesty?

NEWSFLASH:
So while I was writing this post (as you might have guessed I just barely finished dealing with this hence the ranting post), the seller responded to my emails with 3 rapid responded emails. The first stated that

"Ok, I used a 2 pound package as an example, the ships alone without the shipping box or packing materials way over 2 pounds. I'll pack it up and weigh it momentarily to get the exact weight. I'll resend the invoice with whatever it then works out to be rather than refunding the difference afterwards."

Strange, his first reply made it seem like he had already figured out the weight. How else could one calculate shipping. This sudden awareness prompts him to readjust his figures and he emails me a new invoice with a lower shipping price. Finally, in the next email he states

"Ok, I just packed and weighed them and sent a new invoice, the ebay calculated cost was off more than expected, usually it results in undercharging for shipping. Anyways, it's correct now."

New price: $9.10 not $13. Wonder what else I've been over charged for? Should I really trust this character?

So nights aren't all bad

Depending on the given rotation, Fernando gets to see the world with or without the sun. Right now he is living a nocturnal semi charmed kind of life. Work starts at 6pm and ends supposedly around 7 am, give or take several hours. He comes home in kind of a walking trance and tries to have conversations with us. If he is lucky enough to keep his wits about him long enough, he makes it into the bed.

I can only imagine how hard it would be to sleep for long periods of the day, no matter how tired you are. Tiago seems to get the idea that Daddy needs to sleep some of the time, but that doesn't prevent the normal boisterous play he engages in most days. By 3 pm, Fernando is up for play time, and workout time.

I confess that I am not the biggest fan of this schedule, but it does allow me to leave Talia home for naps while go to the gym or other activities with Tiago. Stink is that all night activities outside of the home that are just for moms are a no go. Oh well, he gets to see the kids for at least 2 hours and that's a super bonus for them and me. Thanks Fernando for all your hard work and sacrifice.

Bargain of the Year

I confess that I am a cheapskate. I never like paying full price for anything. My mom even bought me a book that reminder her of me and how frugal I try to be. It tortures me to find out that some item I bought could have been cheaper if I would have just waited. Nothing thrills me more then finding fantastic deals: free admittance to events, too good to be true coupons, and many other things that I'm not going to list because that's not the point. (oh wait, it is, but moving on anyway). Our family has discovered Family Night at Carino's. The Italian restaurant is nothing that original. How can you be original with a classic food group? Still, the food is pretty fantastic especially for the price.

$23! That price included 4 large mozzarella sticks with a enchanting marinara sauce, tantalizing chicken penne Gorgonzola family sized (enough for at least 3 adults who aren't calorie counting), a refreshing unlimited refilled blackberry Italian cream soda, and tip. I should say that they bring out endless loafs of fresh herb bread to dip in their version of kicked up olive oil. It just so happened that we made it in time for Happy Hour which made our appetizers half priced.

The only let down of this whole phenom was the fact that Fernando had to leave for work before our food came. It wasn't because of slow service, just bad planning on our part.

Do you have some terrific deals I should know about?

Oh, and I am sure your wondering about the picture and its relevance to this post. Nothing. No connection just a cute picture of Tiago when we were at Niagara Falls in 2007. He was almost two and chugged most of the Kefir drink himself. This is why we didn't have much left over from dinner tonight. Tiago (and Mia and Talia) can put down some serious portions. My question is where does it go?

Other aside. . .Talia has the most unique food preferences. Or I should say she loves all food. Yesterday we were munching on spinach and artichoke hearts, tomatoes, and peas. Her first "word" is Ma. Twice indicates myself. When said once, it means more.

Constant Smiles

I am often curious about my natural face. You know, the automatic fall back look after some external stimulus has changed your expression? I also wonder about my automatic responses. Sometimes I wish I could be observing my life through a camera viewpoint as well as my optical one. My favorite is when I regain awareness of my expressions while lost in the experience. Like in Zumba class, when I song has carried me away to some tropical hide away and Fernando and I are dancing (we won't go further with that image.) Smile. Or when I reading a clever blog and try to limit my comments so as not to seem too creepy, but silently reveling in the words and moments of their lives. Smile. And when I watch my children in their element and really listen instead of pretending in that state of multiprocessing motherhood. Smile.

Ah, this life has so much to absorb and love and taste. I can't see why I slip so often into that natural state. I suppose that's why we should be more childlike. Unfettered love and curiosity with the willingness to obey = pure joy. (with a few exceptions like cleaning their toy room or folding their clothes). Smile.

The Standard Prayer

Whenever Fernando is on the night shift, I often struggle with avoiding my biggest weaknesses. There are good reasons that they are called the "better half". Last night was no exception. I started out with the simple desire of finishing the first part of the John Adams HBO movie (kind of a let down for me, kind of like Amazing Grace. Both about amazing men, but became too side tracked to be as powerful of a movie as those could have been.) Fernando called from the hospital at the half way point in the movie and suggested I go to bed. He warned that if I didn't stop now, I would stay up too late. This accusation is based on countless previous offenses which bring unfavorable results (AS IF WE NEEDED THE REMINDER OF MAMA MIA AND THE CHURCH FIASCO.)
After the flick, I decided to see what was on tv. I walked right into the trap. I flipped between lame shows before settling on a duo of True Beauty (lame) and a fantastic show about Polio. (No sarcasm should be taken there. My favorite shows are based on history. Really, if you have time. . .that link takes you to the show to watch online.) By the time that show was over, I felt a little less guilty since it was an educational show (really amazing. Ok I don't want to build it up too much). By this time it was midnight. I collapsed on my bed and tried to sleep.
I kept feeling the need to check to doors to make sure things were locked. I had already hit the point where sleep was just a few moments away. Still, I couldn't get rid of that nagging feeling. Even after trying to make my suppositions into fact, I went too see for good measure.

Gratitude for listening to that prompting came at the front door. The door wasn't even locked. At the back, I found the door ajar. I don't need to go through all the what if's that came rushing to my mind. I instantly thought of my standard prayer phrase. Every night I try to pray my thoughts and feelings of the day almost in the manner I would tell a friend. Yet, I keep a phrase in each nightly prayer "Please watch over our home and keep us safe." Every morning I thank Heavenly Father for answering that prayer, but last night my prayers overflowed with gratitude for answering my prayers in such an obvious blessing.

What do you do in the Summer Time?

I was going through my pictures and found a treasure trove from last summer. We, I should say I, missed the boat on getting Sea World Passes. Strangely, I did have the parking pass for the season. I didn't know if Sea World was the destination for me and the 3 kiddos this last summer. The idea of me trying to keep tow excited kids safe while packing around a 3 month old didn't sound fun or safe. With no pool in our community (hopefully I can change that soon), we were hurting for some aquatic adventure. Thanks to fun primary people, we had a riotous time in the church parking lot. As you can tell, cheap entertainment is still entertainment.





All of the fun games included water, but in ways I never had seen. For example, transferring water from one tub to another via a plastic cup on your head. Another fun one dealt with Frisbee and splashing water. The rest included catch the water filled balloon and scope water into the next bucket.

Still, this year I think I am busting down the walls of uncertainty and get the pass. I am sure that sun block companies will love my economic stimulus they'll be getting this year.